A Spoonful of Sugar Helps the Condensed Tomato Soup, Tinned Tuna and Peas Go Down

Coronation Street episode review, Wednesday 27 November, 7.30pm

Simon refuses to go to school and worries that the other kids will laugh at him. He isn’t responding well to Carla, and Peter calls her unhelpful. Simon shuts himself in his room and will only come out for Tina who proposes a game of football. Peter joins in and we begin to see Tina overtly flirting with him when she says of the ball, “they look old but there’s still a bit of life left in them”. Over at the Rovers Tina gets told off for neglecting the customers while chatting to Peter. Liz pulls her aside to tell her she can see a spark between them and warns her that she’s playing with fire, but Tina denies everything.

It’s Sinead’s first day at Underworld where Sally is already amusingly assuming a managerial air in advance of Carla and Peter’s departure on Honeymoon. Discussing how good Tina is with Simon, Carla describes her as “Mary Poppins with bonnier hair”. Can we imagine Mary Poppins putting a brick through a window or flirting with Bert the chimney sweep the week before his wedding? Over at Hayley’s, Carla expresses her irritation at the fact that he’s prioritising Simon over their wedding, and it’s certainly not her finest hour when she says “of all the times to get bullied”.

Owen continues to be convinced that Grace is the instigator as they prepare for Faye’s interview with the police. Down at the station, we get our first glimpse of Grace’s mother whose attitude speaks volumes as she tells Anna “I did not need this today”. Owen and Anna encourage Faye to tell the truth, which she does. She admits to bullying Simon but confesses to being scared of ringleader Grace.

As they talk shopping over at the Rovers, Liz tells Michelle and Amy, “You should see some of the outfits I’ve nearly bought til Deirdre put her foot down”. Judging by some of her ensembles, she doesn’t spend enough time shopping with Deirdre. Michelle asks “Does she not just make you buy a load of belts?” Deirdre is Greek for wisdom, Liz tells us. Being Irish, I feel duty bound to point out that her name is generally accepted as meaning sorrow or grief which seems more apt considering she’s the mother of Tracy Barlow.

Steve describes himself as the patron saint of toast; he had better make sure he doesn’t get burned as Liz warns him that if Michelle finds him lying to her, she’ll have his guts for garters. “Garters?” asks Steve, “a bit 70s”. He thinks he’s getting away with his claims of being too busy to help in the Rovers, but Michelle doesn’t believe a word he says. His other half has been so mean to him of late that it’s frustrating to find Steve proving her right. When she arrives at Streetcars, his phone conversation with study buddy Andrea is cut short, and he tells her it was his friend Charlie instead.

Hayley discusses her funeral plans with Roy, telling him she wants it to be a memorable celebration and not depressing, and she wants him to smile. He agrees to, but says “my eyes might smile but my heart will weep”. As Hayley describes how he has made her want to celebrate life, we are reminded of the painful times that lie ahead.

Beth is still in the bad books with Kirk after cheating in the Employee of the Month competition, but she wins him around with condensed tomato soup, tinned tuna and peas all in the one pan. As if this wasn’t bad enough, Kirk wants to add crisps? By the sounds of it, this cooking prima donna would be better off at Prima Doner.

By Emma Hynes
Twitter: @ELHynes

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