David Platt: The Rover’s Return?

Coronation Street – Double Episode Review – Friday 13 December – 7.30pm and 8.30pm

Kylie is merciless with exiled David, telling him the kids are better off without him even though his future absence in their lives is a huge worry for him. As he prepares to depart, he tells her never to make out to the children that leaving was his idea, and says he won’t need belongings where he’s going.

Leanne thinks Nick was wrong to guilt trip Gail into choosing between her sons. She tells him he’s lacking empathy, and that deciding to banish David isn’t his call. To Nick, who roars at her for apparently making little of him, the end justifies the means, and claims for some hitherto unidentified reason that Tony Soprano would agree with him.

Kylie, Gail and Audrey grow worried about David’s intentions, but ruthless Nick says he hasn’t got the guts to commit suicide. Gail accuses him of goading David into handing himself into the police, but Kylie says it’s a trick and he’s too much of a coward to do it. Gail is determined that if David goes to prison, she will never forgive herself, or Nick.

Over at the Rovers, Kylie is on a mission to get drunk in a move reminiscent of her early days on the street. It takes Eva to remind her how lucky she is and to get home to her kids. Meanwhile at the police station, despite insisting he wants to prove he’s not a coward and do the right thing, Nick stops David handing himself in for Gail’s sake. David tells a relieved Gail he still needs to pay for what he did but she replies “You’ve lost your family. I think that’s payment enough”. Incensed Nick leaves for the Bistro, telling them to enjoy the family reunion he refuses to be part of.

Gail refuses to be forced to choose between her sons who are both at fault in her eyes. As she embraces David outside the house, enraged Kylie emerges from the pub and tells Gail she can keep the kids as well as her precious son. Just minutes earlier she was waxing lyrical in the Rovers about the effect the children have on her heart, and yet abandons them without a moment’s consideration. And while we’re on the subject, with Kylie in the Rovers, Nick, Gail and Audrey running around after David, and Leanne in the Bistro, just who is looking after them? The fact that David begs Gail on the doorstep to let him see Max and Lily implies that they’re inside, but with whom?

Dev’s exercise regime commences in the park, and stumbling upon the scene, Maria has a giggle, as does Sophie when he returns home stiff as a board. Maria later describes a fight between Ozzy and Dev over the tyre he was pulling, a scene unfortunately left to our imagination. Dev later sings Kal’s praises to Leanne who thinks he may be able to help in Nick’s recovery. The patient is predictably furious but Kal tries to persuade him to at least think about it.

An angry Marcus confronts Todd at Streetcars over betraying his confidence, but the latter manages to convince him that he was duty bound as Julie’s nephew to tell her the truth. Marcus thaws and says he can see where Todd is coming from. After a mildly flirtatious response on Todd’s part, he later eyes up Marcus in the Rovers, and complements his physique, leaving us wondering what he’s up to now.

Brian tells heartbroken Julie he loves her and while he doesn’t want to foster or teach children, he believes they have a future together. His image of Julie in a Welsh cottage making jam is idyllic, but she says the picture wouldn’t be complete without children. She suggests he meet her half way; she’ll move to Wales if he fosters. However, he leaves her distraught when he finally confesses to sabotaging their fostering application. Over at the Rovers she laments how her “Greek god in fancy dress” is selfish, mean and cowardly, but what makes it all the more difficult is that she still loves him.

Dennis has been on the receiving end of such belittlement lately, Rita should be able to carry him around in her handbag. She sneers at the idea that he has something to do other than drink in the Rovers with her, and the green eyed monster in her calls Gloria Miss Piggy despite there being  only one person truly acting the muppet of late. Richie arrives at the Bistro and “Gorgeous Gloria” feels like Marianne Faithful. When the sixties throwback is concerned at the low profile of the restaurant, Gloria announces that they’ve had David Beckham round which is news to more than Richie. Not content to leave Dennis to it, Rita arrives with Mary in tow. While Rita tiresomely describes her life with Dennis as exasperating and frustrating, Mary is busy auditioning for the part of Richie’s groupie; her campervan can only be an asset. As he wows her with tales of the Yardbirds, even Rita’s predictable condescension fails to dampen her excitement.

Gloria’s suggestion of a 60s theme night sees patronising Rita tell her she would’ve thought her wardrobe was more 50s. “Still beats you by a decade” is the deliciously acidic retort. Gloria’s put downs can be nasty and needless, but her witticisms tonight act as proof that when genuinely warranted, we need look no further for quality come backs.

By Emma Hynes

Twitter: @ELHynes

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