Christmas on the Cobbles

Coronation Street – Episode Review – 25 December 2013

It’s Christmas Day, and it may be a time for forgiving and forgetting, but things aren’t always that simple on the cobbles.

David is the only one who cares when Kylie disappears. He finds her alone down the canal, but she refuses his dinner invite, and her self pity continues as she describes herself as the “horrible wrapper that [Lily] came in”. David tells her he sees this as an opportunity for her to prove the family wrong. As Nick proposes a toast to celebrate the approach of normality, Kylie arrives at the Bistro, promising they won’t get any more trouble from her. While the whole family enjoy Christmas cracker jokes, Nick’s irritability reaches its peak, and he hits Leanne. This causes a rift in the family with Gail and Audrey blaming his condition, and Leanne’s side disgusted, unable to consider his brain injury an excuse.

Kylie’s infuriating response to David’s frustration is to tell him he can deal with the kids before predictably heading for the Rovers to get drunk, have a run in with Tina and eventually get thrown out. She comes on to Rob in the street and gets a warning from Tracy before attacking Tina for a comment about sleeping with brothers. Kylie is arrested for assault and will be kept in overnight leaving David in no mood for birthday celebrations. Again, it’s disappointing to see such regression in such a well developed character as Kylie. Back home Leanne tells Nick what he’s done is not okay and how she always swore that it would only have to happen once for her to walk out. Troubled Nick kisses her as she looks at her bruised face in the mirror, and what exactly she’s going to do is unclear.

Roy is so touched by Hayley’s present; a model of the train he drove on their wedding day. Despite planning a quiet day to themselves, it ends up being action packed. The first set of visitors includes Norris who receives a snorkel parka and reckons it’s a conspiracy; his capacity for snooping would certainly be hampered, and the “outer garment luddite” and “angry submarine” is unimpressed. Fiz and family arrive next, and Hayley says lovingly of Roy, “He’s like a stranger in the world sometimes, he needs to be somebody’s stranger”. Despite her tiredness, she doesn’t want the day to end, and receives a very warm welcome at the Rovers. Such is her happiness that her upset at Mary’s very ill-timed rendition of Fairytale of New York is shortlived.

Stopping to rest at the bus stop on the way home, she tells Roy he has her blessing if he meets someone else before throwing a snowball at him to lighten the mood. A full fight ensues as friends and neighbours arrive, and Hayley is incandescent as the snow falls softly around her. As she savours the moment it’s a reminder to us all to enjoy the magical things in life. As she watches Roys’ present; a DVD of Amsterdam where they shared a holiday, he calls her to the window to see two snowmen in their likeness, created with love by friends, and Hayley’s eyes are brighter than the snow.

Sophie forces Sally to help at the shelter but of late it’s apparent that Sophie’s christian nature is somewhat a la carte. When Maddie, a cheeky, insulting girl pushes Sally’s head into the trifle for what she considers to be patronising behaviour, Sophie dissolves with laughter. It’s only when she’s on the receiving end of Maddie’s sharp tongue herself that she’s affronted. It’s a shame to see the introduction of yet another character with a bad attitude. Things go from bad to worse when Sally’s bag is robbed, and Christmas dinner is delayed by Tim who forgets to turn on the oven, although it was hilarious to see him bolt for the door when someone mentioned turkey in the Rovers.

Tracy reckons they should knock a door through to the Rovers so that Amy can be passed back and forward to Steve. Lovely. Amy isn’t the only moveable feast as Deirdre declares that Eccles has had the turkey out of the bag. “We’ll carve around the teeth marks” she assures a repulsed Rob. He soon escapes to the Rovers where Lloyd’s Christmas jumper is the subject of much mirth. Michelle’s top on the other hand gets Steve major credit; “Oi mannequin no, that work of art belongs on my beautiful girlfriend” he boasts. Lloyd is surprised considering Steve previously thought of getting her nasal hair trimmers. His triumph is short lived however when Andrea arrives and reveals she chose Michelle’s blouse. Michelle is furious but is won over with Christmas cheer.

Rob isn’t the only one to pop into the Rovers as Peter brings Tina a present from Simon. She tells him to go home when he asks if she has any messages for Rob.

Back at Deirdre’s, the only thing worse for Tracy than her home made pottery cup, and Carla’s gold one, is the news that Peter has been made an equal partner at Underworld.

Deirdre’s mistletoe halo, a weapon of mass destruction according to Steve, has Norris in fear when she announces she’s resorting to conscription, and has “all but swapped saliva with a border terrier”. Dennis isn’t deterred however, and Rita hopes the dog has had its jabs.

It may be the most wonderful time of the year, but with Kylie banged up, and despondent David slugging from a can in the yard, it wouldn’t be the first time the Platts would struggle to agree.

By Emma Hynes

Twitter: @ELHynes

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