Happy New Year?

Coronation Street – Episode Review – New Year’s Day – 1 January 2014 – 7.30pm

It’s a brand New Year, and traditionally a time for fresh starts, resolutions, and turning over a new leaf; but how will 2014 be greeted on the cobbles?

Hayley is disappointed to have slept through midnight, but a kiss and hug from Roy more than makes up for it. As Tyrone later praises his ability to cope, selfless Roy assures him, “Hayley’s the one to be admired”. As she prepares to return home after a celebratory drink in the Rovers, where friends try to mask their concern at her visible decline, she is feeble but happy.

Nick appears enthused by Kal’s attentiveness as his training continues. At last he mentions that therapy has been suggested, and Kal is supportive of professional counselling as an aid to recovery. In the meantime, Leanne feels like she has abandoned him and decides to move back in without discussion.

Carla thanks Peter for being a fantastic husband. “Hardly” he retorts as he hugs her, yet shows no visible remorse for his betrayal.

Meanwhile as Liz removes party poppers from the hoover, the face on “party pooper” Tina is enough to turn the New Year sour. She confesses all to Liz who continues to be more than kind to the volatile barmaid. Tina professes to hate women who sleep with married men, and is disgusted with herself, claiming that Peter brings out the worst in her and warps her concept of right and wrong. Liz is sympathetic, positing the blame with Peter for making Tina feel that she has never wanted anyone more.

Later in the smoking area, Peter is left unperturbed by Tina’s knockback. He may say he feels as bad as she does, but his never-say-never attitude undermines this claim. While she speaks of her shame, Peter’s source of “torture” is not deceiving Carla, but having to pretend there is nothing going on between them. Tina telling him to stay away from her may not have had any effect, but he is left shaken when he gets a surprise visit from Liz during a trip to the bathroom. Part of her job as landlady is to look after her staff, she tells him, and she expresses her disgust that a married man twice Tina’s age is sleeping with her young barmaid. To ensure her message is crystal clear, she pins him to the wall and warns him, “leave her alone or you’ll have me to answer to” before elegantly gliding back to the bar, not a hair out of place. What a woman.

Deirdre is another woman who tells it as it is, but not til after her new telly is in situ. Demanding Rob refrain from calling her Dee, she declares that the “vain egomaniac” can’t move in as she simply doesn’t like him. Not only that, she wants Tracy to join him. Where poor Amy fits into all this is anyone’s guess. Consoling themselves at the Rovers, Rob announces that he wouldn’t move in if Deirdre begged him. Tracy tells him beggars can’t be choosers, which is confusing at the outset, til it’s revealed that presumptuous Rob has already handed in his notice on the flat. Still, they have a new tasteless tagline for the shop: “Barlow’s Buys – where beggars can be choosers”.

As Deirdre enjoys a glass of wine at the Bistro, and the sight of Kal, who she reckons would be a fine prospect to have wandering around her house in his pants, Tracy and Rob are scheming against her. Determined to instil fear in her at the prospect of living alone, they stage a break in. Tracy may be “mad” and “totally evil”, but Rob is happy to play along as they floor the Christmas tree, smash a window and break her ornaments. Deirdre is quick to see through their woolly story, but instead of their horrible deed reinforcing her decision to kick them both out, she tells them they can stay. She may be hoping that by making them pay rent and abide by her rules, that they will end up moving out of their own accord.

By Emma Hynes


Twitter: @ELHynes

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